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It is very common for spouses to have different ideas, goals, and desires, and these differences can lead to conflict in a marriage. In addition, it is also common for spouses to have very different ways of handling conflicts, and these differences often prevent couples from resolving their conflicts. Over time, these unresolved conflicts can create major divisions and problems in the marriage. If you and your spouse are struggling with this, seeking help from a marriage counselor might be a great way to learn how to effectively resolve conflicts in your relationship.
What conflict is and why it occurs
Conflict itself is not a bad thing; it simply represents differences in opinions. A couple can either allow these differences to cause issues in their relationship, or they can learn to embrace the differences and find ways to effectively deal with them. Every relationship has conflict, but couples with healthy marriages have learned how to handle their conflicts in ways that are not destructive for the marriage.
The damage of unresolved conflict
When a marriage is full of conflict that tends to bother or hurt the spouses, it can be considered unhealthy conflict. This conflict often arises from the differences in the ways each spouse handles the arguments. Some spouses will argue incessantly, while others may freeze up and become silent. There are also times when one spouse will just keep giving in as an easy way of keeping peace in the home. These are all unhealthy methods for dealing with conflict, but there are also good ways to deal with conflict.
Use conflict-resolution methods
While conflict in a marriage is normal, it will never go away unless you learn how to deal with it. A good place to start is by making a joint list of the things you argue about. After that, talk through each item individually and make an agreement as to how you will handle the subject. Make sure that you the agreement you make is one that you are both satisfied with and can live with. This will require compromise, and you must each be willing to do this. Keep this list handy so you can refer to it if you end up in an argument about one of the items on the list.
Visiting a marriage counselor is the best way to learn more about resolving conflict in your marriage. To schedule an appointment, contact a counseling center today, such as the Associates For Counseling & Psychotherapy.